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[24 Mar 2010|02:53am] |
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mood |
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 enraged |
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FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
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[24 Mar 2010|02:20am] |
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Fuck you, "darling".
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[31 Jan 2010|06:37pm] |
He makes me hate myself. I act like a fucking idiot because of him. I hate this. I really do. And he gets some kind of sick kick out of it. I can see him, sitting with his asshole friends, looking at my texts and rolling his eyes.
He doesn't give a shit about me. He never did. All he cares about is fucking and now that I'm not there to do that he doesn't need me.
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[31 Jan 2010|11:06am] |
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I hate you.
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[26 Jan 2010|09:36pm] |
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mood |
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pissed off |
] |
He really fucking disgusts me sometimes. Like I wish I could slap him across his pot-loving face.
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[23 Jan 2010|02:49am] |
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I can't function without him.
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[21 Jan 2010|01:34am] |
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mood |
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pissed off |
] |
Going to bed in a miserable mood. Surprised? Yes. Why? I don't know. I thought he'd give a shit for at least a week. Nothing's going to change. There will always be excuses.
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[18 Jan 2010|11:54pm] |
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mood |
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 distressed |
] |
I am so unhappy without him. Every time he leaves, I feel like I took him for granted. Like I didn't spend enough time with him, or didn't do enough for him. I can never spend enough time with him, because I want to be with him all the time. Sure, sometimes he gets on my nerves, but I love him, and part of love is accepting the annoying little things about each other. I wouldn't trade his ear-licking habit for anything in the world.
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[07 Jan 2010|02:11am] |
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mood |
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 sad |
] |
Speaking of Taylor. I've been home for less than 12 hours, and already I feel bored and lonely =[
He's going back up to school in 10 days. I don't know when I'll see him next after that. It scares me. I don't want to be without him. This month has been perfect.
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[07 Jan 2010|02:04am] |
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mood |
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 amused |
] |
I want to buyyy a Draco Malfoy shirt =] But if I do, Taylor will probably get like a pair of boxers with Hermione's face in the crotch. I think I might get it anyway, since it's really flattering-looking. It'll go great with my Malfoy wand =]
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[04 Jan 2010|01:05am] |
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mood |
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content |
] |
Tomorrow:
Buy a cute outfit at the mall.
Get sushi.
Get out of going to Katie's party... because I'd just feel too awkward =[
Buy Katie a gift certificate or something for Sephora.
Show off said cute outfit for Taylor =]
Tease him all night, then make him happy.
Sleep like a baby.
Tomorrow will be a good day.
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[29 Dec 2009|11:07pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
] |
Taylor says his parents are thinking of putting Chloe down =[ It's really upsetting me. I love Chloe. And Taylor does even more. If that dog dies, he'll be heartbroken. She's 13. Bichons are supposed to live from 15-20 years. She might have a few years left.
They need to speak to a vet before they do anything. Poor Chloe. Sure, she's going to act a little funny, she's old. But I don't think she's sick or suffering... his mom might just be being dramatic. The dog can still run and jump okay. She's eating fine. The only thing that's alarming is her bladder... and it's only every once in a while that she has trouble with that.
I don't know. I just hate the idea of putting an animal down. I heard that when you do it, they look for their owners... it's just so sad. It feels like betrayal.
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[28 Dec 2009|07:44pm] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
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Gahhhh I want my car. Not having it makes me want it so much more. I want to go to Ulta. And the mall. And test out my GPS. And get sushi. And coffee. UGH.
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[23 Dec 2009|04:12pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
] |
I love it when Taylor uses words like "crappily" or "shittily". He's silly. It always makes me smile.
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[21 Dec 2009|08:55pm] |
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mood |
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worried |
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Christmas is drawing near. I'm getting the feeling that Taylor bought me some really spectacular gifts, and I'm afraid mine won't measure up. I don't want him to spend a ton of money on me and get lame shit in return. I spent a fair amount of money on him... but I wish I'd spent it more wisely. I wish I could've gotten him the Nintendo DSi and Scribblenauts. That would've been great. I hope what I got him instead will be good enough. Maybe I can run out and get him something little, last second. I have about $65 left. I wish I could've gotten more from my grandfather ahead of time.
Ehhh. We'll see what happens =[
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[18 Dec 2009|11:49pm] |
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mood |
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content |
] |
Gahh. It was such a great night. He drives me fucking crazy sometimes, but he's great, and I love him to death. And the great sex always helps.
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[17 Dec 2009|02:10pm] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
] |
He has aggravated me so much in this past month week that I don't even feel excited about seeing him today. I don't really want to. And then I'm going to sleep over, and on Saturday when I have to see my grandfather, he's going to mope around like I've betrayed him or something. Because I'm ALWAYS just such a bitch.
Hopefully this month will improve things. The week we spent together during Thanksgiving break was nice, despite his insensitivity to me needing to go home to avoid my mom being a psycho bitch.
I'm just hoping he'll really impress me for once. Like he used to. Hoping he'll treat me well. I'm hoping he'll get me a decent gift for Christmas. Maybe even be romantic. Ever since our 1 year anniversary, he's decided that he's no longer romantic, I guess. He doesn't buy me cute little things. He hasn't gotten me a birthday present in two years, or anything for our 2 year anniversary. He ignored me all day on our 2 1/2 years. Maybe we should have gone on a break. He doesn't appreciate me. That would teach him to. He's so used to calling all the shots and walking all over me. I need to stop this. I need to feel like I'm worth something, and I'm tired of always thinking negatively of him.
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[16 Dec 2009|01:43pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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So I have decided that I need this journal again. Just so I don't bottle things up. I need an unbiased place to post, where no one reads it but me. No one knows this exists but me. Which is good. Most people don't even know that this exists. How often will I use it? Who knows. Maybe I just want it back because I miss having a nice layout. Although, I never liked the crosshair cursor much. I should look into how I can change that.
Hummm well. We'll see how this goes.
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[17 Jun 2008|09:10pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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Busy fucking week. Seriously. But in a good way.
Wednesday: Human Bio final, pick up cap & gown, sleeping over Taylor's.
Thursday: Celebrating Taylor's birthday, my brother's middle school graduation.
Friday: MY graduation/Taylor's brithday.
Hummmm. So hectic. But I guess in a good way.
Now, after this? That's when it starts getting shitty.
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[14 Jun 2008|10:16am] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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Fuck everything, I just want to die.
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